Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Oops...

I meant to follow up to the last post days ago....oops...

Here is what has been going on in the world of Alli Carter:
  • Fell in love
  • Fell out of love
  • Changed schools
  • Got tan
  • Started job hunting
So yeah...that's what has been up with me. Where should I begin? Tan! That's where I'll start off at. Well, all summer I spent as much time at the pool as I could, so that I could finally overcome my complexion. AND IT WORKED!!!!!!! I was a bronzed goddess...for a month at least haha. Now, it is fall. It is too cold to be at the pool, and my tan is gone. Darn It All!
I no longer attend Harvest Christian Academy, I now am a Byron Nelson High School Bobcat! And I could not be happier! HCA was good and their principals sounded great....but thats just it, they SOUNDED great. What was practiced and the lack of "follow through" however, was not! One individual can only take so much hypocracy, lies, and double standards before they break. Sadly enough, I reached my point. And I broke. So a change of pace was a necessity for me, and I switched from my sheltered private school life into *dramatic gasp* PUBLIC SCHOOL!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!! And I could not be happier : )

Yes, I am joining the legions of the unemployed. Look out world...here I come!! So far I have applied to numerous places......and although I haven't heard a word, I will NOT be discouraged. For God has a plan for me, and even if it takes time, or I don't work anywhere, no matter what happens, I will NOT fear.
"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you, to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Now, here's the doozie; The Love bullet point. In January, I met a fantastic man. Someone I truly consider my greatest friend. At the time, I was in a relationship with a psyco person (hehe) and he was in another country. So we just kept talking, all the time, and it was wonderful. By the time I escaped my crap-tastic relationship, he was back in the US, in NH, where he lived. Again, our friendship intensified and we kept on trucking. Months later, in July(?) he comes to TX to go to school. We are so excited because as time went on and our friendship grew, we became really close. So close in fact as to discuss possibly dating. After all, we were great friends and alike on so many views. It just seemed to make sense. So on August 24, we became "OFFICIAL" and in the beginning things were great!!! I was so happy to have met and have him close to me! It was a "reunion" of sorts. After being apart for 8mo, being inches away from each other was incredible!! Our relationship was sort-of long distince, being that he was at school and hour away. We were together Fri night- Sun afternoon. But here is where our problems began. We were both very physical people. Not in an intimiate/sexual way, but in just needing that closeness to keep us together. So, during the week, we found ourselves arguing over the stupidest stuff. Honestly, I can't remember 1/2 the things we were so bent out of shap over because it was that pointless. As the time passed, we would become much closer during the weekend, but our fighting during the week seemed to crack us just a little bit more. Well, as I said before when talking about school, a person can only take so much, and I saw our friendship slipping away. After all the pointless arguing, I just became so exhausted. No longer were the weekends spending time with my boyfriend (potential husband) it turned into hanging out with my bud. It was not fair for him to be 100% in a relationship with someone who wasn't in it all the way. I knew that the longer we were together, we would end up having a giant blow out and it wasn't going to be pretty. So I did what I NEVER wanted to do, and I hurt him in the worst way. Did I love him? YES! Did I care for him? YES! Do I want the best for him? YES! Now, you may wonder how on earth I could've broken him if I answered YES to any (not to mention ALL) of them? It's because of how I feel for him that I did it. And although it hurts like a mother now, it was the best decision for us in the long run. I know that from here on out, there is hope for us in the future. Wether it is the best freiends we once were, or for something more. But before a relationship can ensue, changes have to be made. Growing has to occur. So this is me, sitting here writing out all of this in hopes that he will read this. And hopefully, it will all make sense.



I love you Jonathan, always will, you were and hopefully will continue to be, my greatest friend.

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